Bully, Bully

 

It seems adolescent bullying is under a microscope, but I haven’t heard anyone speaking about adult bullying…

Adult bullies could be your boss, your neighbor, or your best friends. At whatever age, bullying is damaging.

 

I recently divorced myself from a couple two or three people with whom I shared between fifteen and thirty years of good and bad times.

Oh, they were nice enough, when they aren’t picking on you, making fun of you, or degrading you on a regular basis.

You may be treated to a great birthday dinner then served a round of being made fun of for your clothes, your hair, your ideas, or your personal choices.

 

Most of us who tolerate bullies are people pleasers. We have learned to make others happy, to our detriment, to keep the peace.

The process and anguish of ending a negative relationship is never easy, but it is worth it to get out and regain your life.

 

I recently ran into an old friend I haven’t seen in a couple two or three years. She was astonished by how good I looked and wanted to know my secret.

My reply was that I reduced the stress in my life by 80 percent.

Intrigued, my friend wanted to know how I could possibly reduce my stress.

I told her I divorced a couple of people from my life.

Understanding immediately, she added that divorcing toxic personalities leads to you being the bad guy for standing up for yourself.

It’s true. I’ve lost other friends based on my divorcing the bully-twins, but the few months of turmoil leads to a peaceful life in which you can be yourself without answering to bullies who don’t really care about you anyway.

While in a bullying relationship, you don’t realize how wide their negativity spreads into every choice you make. I now wear the clothes I like, listen to the music I like, wear the makeup and jewelry I like and make choices for my life without those moments of self editing to reduce being picked on by people who are supposed to treat you better and support you.

It’s a brand new life without bullies.

Tags: adult bullies, Bullies, bullying, chronic pain, East Coast, Health, Home, New England, northeast, Stress Reduction, toxic personalities